just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
