i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Randomize
