your room smells of hookers.
And success
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
