Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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