Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
