Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
