My sheets look like a crime scene.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You ate ashes out of my bong
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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