I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
