Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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