I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
