Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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