Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
