Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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