Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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