they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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