As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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