So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
