me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
