Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
