I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
