I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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