A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
