I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
only you would photoshop your dick
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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