Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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