what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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