Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
