You work out of a Hotel?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
