Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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