her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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