turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
