If i come over, it means nothing
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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