I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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