well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
it's like heaven, but drunker
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
