I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
