This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
