well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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