Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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