I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
