My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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