the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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