if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
