is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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