I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
His nipple licking is glorious
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