im drinking this country out of the recession.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
