It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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