She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
