Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
