I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
