she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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