I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
