Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
All the doctor said was why
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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